Jian Ghomeshi – It’s NOT okay to role play rape – just sayin….

I am not one to get involved in every news story that hits our page feeds, but this latest controversial firing of CBC radio’s host Jian Ghomeshi has me shaking my head and wanting to lock my virgin daughters up for good.

I first heard about it via Ghomeshi’s confession, his ‘tell all before they do’ approach, where he discussed his private sexual behaviours that he claims were consensual, whereas allegations against him, according to the Toronto Star, were not. Read News Story Here.  

Ghomeshi confessed on Facebook, that any allegations that may come against him are fabricated, because of a jilted lover who is also a freelance writer.  He argued that his conduct in the bedroom was violent but consensual, his personal sex life should be his personal business, and it should not have any sway in his career. Jian says he has a right to his own sexual freedom without consequence. Therefore he is suing CBC for MILLIONS! Like the kind of millions it would take to keep a nation out of starvation and poverty.

I have to say, he wooed me with his sincere confession, and his heart felt grief over the loss of his father – he  had me at his side, feeling sorry for his violation, then as he went on to defend his sex life, I felt trapped between empathy and what he was really saying. I soon broke free from his charming stance as I started reading the country’s response to his post. POOR GHOMESHI, these women are stupid. Attack after attack surfaced AGAINST the 4 women, who came forward claiming they were violated, yet too afraid to come public with their stories.

Canada attacked them like ants on a spilt slurpee. Their fear to come public obviously makes them liars, right?

Then I thought of these statistics and I began to go, hmmmmmmm and other Christians and morally responsible individuals began to go… hmmmmmmmmm – something is not right here.

 

I had recently researched these stats for an up and coming article I wrote  on “how to help our daughters navigate through a  sexually aggressive culture” (good timing right? It will be out soon)

 

Don’t skip these statistics. Read EACH one, and let it sink in.


 

Sexual Assault Statistics (source SACHA.com)
  • 51% of Canadian women report having experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of sixteen.
  • Almost 60% of these women were the targets of more than one such incident.(Statistics Canada, The Daily. (Ottawa: Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, November 18, 1993.))
  • 29% of women who have ever been married or lived in a common-law relationship have been physically or sexually assaulted by a partner during the relationship
  • 21% were assaulted during pregnancy.(Karen Rodgers, “Wife Assault: The Findings of a National Survey”, Juristat, 14, 9 (Ottawa: Statistics Canada, Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, 1994): 1, 4, 12.)
  • 29% reported incidents of sexual assault. (W. DeKeseredy and K.Kelly, The Incidence and Prevalence of Woman Abuse in Canadian University and College Dating Relationships: Results from a National Survey, 1993.)
  • 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted.
  • Half of these assaults will be against women under 16 years of age. (Brickman & Briere, Winnipeg, 1984.)
  • Every 17 minutes, a woman is raped. (Canadian Advisory Council on the Status of Women, 1985.)
  • One study indicates that 83% of women with disabilities will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime. (Liz Stimpson and Margaret C. Best, Courage Above All: Sexual Assault Against Women with Disabilities, 1991.)
  • 67% to 83% of women are sexually assaulted by someone they know. (Stermac, Toronto, 1991-93; D. Russell, USA, 1984.)
  • 38% of sexually assaulted women were assaulted by their husbands, common-law partners or boyfriends. (Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women, 1993.)
  • Date rape accounts for 60% of reported rapes. (Vis-A-Vis, USA, 1992.)
  • It is estimated that only 1% of all date rapes are reported to the police. (Diana Russell, Sexual Exploitation: Rape, Child Abuse and Workplace Harassment, California, 1984.)
  • 80% of sexual assault survivors were assaulted in their homes. (Canadian Advisory Council on the Status of Women, Ottawa, 1985.)
  • 49% of women are sexually assaulted in broad daylight (Canadian Advisory Council on the Status of Women, Ottawa, 1985.)
  • 93% of sexual assault survivors do not report to the police. (Statistics Canada, The Daily. (Ottawa: Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, November 18, 1993.)
  • Of sexual assault survivors who do not report to the police, 44% state that it was because they were concerned about the attitudes of the police or courts toward this crime. (Leaf Lines, Vol. 4, No. 1, November, 1990.)
  • 87% of rape survivors consulted no professional help. (Brickman & Briere, Winnipeg, 1984.)
  • 60% of women receiving treatment for drug & alcohol use were survivors of sexual violence. (Jean Tweed, Substance Treatment Centre, 1989-90.)
  • A Toronto study showed that 83% of female psychiatric in-patients reported a history of physical or sexual abuse.
  • Almost one-third reported either minor or severe physical or sexual abuse during their hospitalization. (Temi Firsten, 1990.)
  • Four out of five female undergraduates surveyed at Canadian universities said they had been victims of violence in a dating relationship.
  • 29% reported incidents of sexual assault. (W. DeKeseredy and K.Kelly, The Incidence and Prevalence of Woman Abuse in Canadian University and College Dating Relationships: Results from a National Survey, 1993.)
  • 60% of Canadian college-aged males indicated they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they would not get caught. (Lenskyj, 1992.)
  • A study in Toronto found that 20% of young women in high school had experienced at least one form of assault in a dating relationship. (Shirley Mercer, Not a Pretty Picture: An Exploratory Study of Violence Against Women in Dating Relationships, Toronto, 1987.)
  • Two out of three women have experienced sexual assault.(Based on Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women, 1993.)
  • One in three women victims of sexual assault were assaulted by a friend or casual acquaintance; one in four by a family member including a spouse or ex-spouse. (Tremblay, 1999.)
  • Young women between the ages of 16 and 21 are at the highest risk of sexual assault. (Women’s Safety Project, 1993.)


 

 

Debates about whether or not Jian’s aggressive and domineering fantasies were consensual or not is irrelevant, as far as I am concerned, and his confession along with the confusing allegations shows me one thing.

 

Our society’s view on sex is screwed up if we think these stats are okay and fun to role play!

 

I am not going to go on and on and on about these allegations, because there are better writers than me on this subject. Like This One, from sarahbessey.com, she said it better than I ever could why this is so twisted, BUT I am going to go on and on about sexual violence against women and our culture’s screwed up view on sex. 

Our COUNTRY needs to have this talk, WE need to have this talk, as awkward as it is!

 

Thanks Jian for being the one to blow the lid off of this and thanks for your point of view that represents many Canadians and Americans…

(these are the main points I pulled out of Jian’s argument) 

  1. Our sexual practices should be secretive and private.

  2. Our sexual actions should have no boundaries as long as it is consensual.

  3. Our sexuality is ours to do what we will.

  4. Sex is designed to seek self pleasure even if its bizarre.

  5. It’s okay to role play rape against women.

  6. Rape is an acceptable turn on, if consensual.

  7. My sexual choices and my character are two separate entities of a person.

  8. Sex is just a tool for pleasure and I shouldn’t be judged for it.

  9. Violence and sex together create joy and satisfaction.

  10. We can do what we want, when we want, to whom we want, how we want to. 

 

 

I think this is a topic worth carrying on tomorrow, infact, I think it’s worth talking about this whole week! wahoo! 

So welcome to the start of SEX WEEK on Virtuous Woman Exposed! 

 

3 thoughts on “Jian Ghomeshi – It’s NOT okay to role play rape – just sayin….”

  1. Lynda says:

    Great job Sara! Keep it up!

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