I am so glad that you have taken the time to get to know me a little bit more. On the outside looking in, I am an award winning blogger, speaker, and award winning author of Fearless in 21 Days. I am one blessed wife, and a mom to 5 amazing kids. I am a Christian who believes that God loves us with a fierce love and sent His one and only son so we could have eternal life.
I sound so virtuous don’t I? Well, there’s a little bit more….
16 years ago, my life was a disaster. I was a single mom of 2 small children, living in poverty, abandoned, and really afraid. However, this was the moment in my life that I began trusting God for my basic needs, and He began turning my life around. Soon God opened wide a door for me to go to University. 5 Years later, I graduated with honors, met and married my wonderful husband, bought my first home, became a ministry leader and a writer, and had 3 more children! I really began to see that God’s promises were true. His goodness blew me away, and my passion for Him exploded!
I knew that God was putting the pieces back together in my life. One day at a church conference, a woman I highly respected, prayed over me and told me that she felt God was going to entrust me with a deliverance ministry in the area of mental illness, anxiety, depression and OCD. It was an interesting word, not a direction I ever thought myself going in. I was a mommy blogger and rarely struggled with depression… or so I thought.
I sound really virtuous now, don’t I? Well, there’s a little bit more…
A few years after that prayer, just when life was beginning to catch up with the Jones’ – I got tired, really tired. That tiredness turned into burnout, and that burnout turned into depression, and then one day, after a season of trials… I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t drive my kids to school, or cook dinner, or shower, because I was mentally ill.
I began having panic attacks that turned into a full-blown panic disorder. Then I developed a life changing anxiety disorder, OCD, and deep depression. I went from “how does she do it all” to stuttering, faint spells, heart palpitations, irrational fears, and despairing and suicidal thoughts. I was thrust into a season of mental, spiritual, emotional and physical torment. I battled for my life. My mind raced 24 hrs a day… What if I went crazy? What if I lost it all? I was terrified. I had never been here before. Where was God in all this? Was this my future?
In that season I had two choices, Trust God or Die, and I was faced with the possibility that this could be me, forever, so I started looking up ways to “cope” with it, my identity became tangled in my mental illness, and I was accepting my fate. I don’t remember a specific moment, but that internal stubbornness in me rose up. That stubbornness that had gotten me through many hard times. I rose up in me and said, “No way!” and I sought God for answers, and I sought Him until I found Him, and when I found Him, He healed me.
One final moment I will never forget…
I was at a bible study, and having a very unstable day. During worship, I was overcome with grief at my condition and overwhelmed by the lie that I could be like this forever. I began begging God to set me free ( like I had a million times before) but this was a deep soul cry. Then in that moment God spoke to my heart and He said…. “Sarah, do you see? Do you see how my people suffer?” I began to grieve and grieve at the idea that people were suffering with mental and emotional pain, like I was. I whispered back “Yes, God, I see” and I knew in that moment that God was lifting the final chains of mental torment off of me, so I could show others the way to freedom too.
I now live with a completely restored, healed and renewed mind. Since then, God has placed a fierce determination in me to see people set free from emotional and mental torment, like I was. I feel so much compassion when I see others in torment, because I know how ravaged their minds are.
Maybe that’s you? Maybe it’s not that severe but your thoughts still hold you back, or maybe you are worse than I was, and are on the cusp of giving up. I am here to be a witness and tell you, that you can and will live a fearless and joy-filled life! I am still far from virtuous, but I found that spot, nestled right under my Father’s Wing, a spot where there is no fear, no despair, only peace and fullness of joy. I want to show you how to find that too.
If you’re not sure where to being START HERE…
Have a Fearless Day!
9 thoughts on “Meet Sarah B”
Sarah, your story is so powerful. What a blessing you are to all of us! Your website looks amazing & I’m feeling tremendously blessed to have found a place to reach out for support. I thank you for your help with setting up my forum account. I’ll be sure to reach out & share my story there! Sending my love, -Randi, xo
Sarah E Ball says:
Hi Randi! So glad you’re a part of the forum now. Thanks for all your help trying to figure out the kinks together!
Thanks for your amazing testimony. I liked som much the part of “guaranteed victory” from God himself.
I am a 39 yeart old christian man from Norway, in the midst of my life´s toughest challenge, depression, anxiety and insomnia having lasted for 1,5 years now.
Having struggled with so much sin (self medication) in my life, I am thinking of the spiritual aspects of my problem, and the fear of demonic oppression in my life. What are your thoughts of deliverance ministeries….?
Øystein from Norway
Juliet M Loza says:
Hello Sarah you dont know how much you sharing this makes me feel and think. Brings hope to m soul. My name is Juliet M Loza and I have been struggling with Anxiety and depression for a few years now. I keep trying ask God to take it away, heal me from it. Then wonder why I am still going through this. I still dont know how it started or what could have caused it but its awful and keeps me from enjoying my family friends and life. I been praying and believe that I too will be renewed in mind and be healed.
Thankyou for your honesty as I’ve been going through OCD and intrusive thoughts always about father holy spirit and getting to the end of my rope. Wondering why Lord why. Now I’m trying to ignore them and take one day at a time praying sorry and excepting their love.
Hi, just stumbled on your book, through a shared fb post, I’m reading it now, and can’t wait to use all of your advice, I too have suffered to the T what you have, I’m better, but I’m not completely recovered yet, hoping to find another push through your book , your story to find healing. Thank you. Our life story is very similar too.
I enjoy your blog. I have ordered your book.
Can you tell me if you were taking medications and what they were if you were taking them for your anxiety disorder, OCD and panic disorders? Also did you have severe GAD moderate or minor?
If so are you still taking medications?
Please remember me in your prayers
Sarah E Ball says:
I had severe GAD and I never took medication. That does not mean that I am opposed to it. It can be a life saver for many.
Edwin Harish says:
Hi Sister Sara,
I bought your book and have begun reading it. During this time of the Covid pandemic and lock-down in Bengaluru, India where I’m from. Your blog and your story has filled me with hope and relief that there is a Godly solution to all of this.