Today I woke up feeling depressed

 


here is something so unpredictable about mornings. Will you wake up rested and ready to conquer the day, will you feel like a freight train pulled you down the Vegas strip all night long, or will you wake up and your first thought be “crap, I got the kid’s flu bug!”?

Either way, there is something about mornings that gives us the first hint to what our day will be like.
This is why it’s so important to learn to master our mornings and put depression in its place. One of my most popular posts on my Fearless in 21 Day series was “morning and evening declarations”, I think it’s one of the most read because mornings are the worst when you are living with depression.
This morning I woke up depressed. “Oh good morning Princess, your life sucks!” My heart was beating slower, my eyes were downcast, my body was slumped and slow. My thoughts instantly reminded me of all the reasons I should be depressed, and for a moment I agreed with my depressing alarm clock.
I dragged myself out of bed and at the same time intercepted my hubby who was faithfully and lovingly bringing me my hot cup of wake up joy. My heart lept, reminding myself how blessed I am, but my depressed morning coach quickly reminded me that it was just coffee and life still sucked.
I hoped a shower would make myself feel better, but it didn’t. I hoped a second cup of coffee would too, it didn’t. I sat on my messy bed, wishing I was a better house keeper and actually had the desire to make my bed. Then I put on my new shoes, dumped my clean laundry basket upside down to find socks… “nope, still depressed.” (insert rant about how the teens always steal my socks!!!!)
Then, out of nowhere a song popped into my head. “This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice, we will rejoice and be glad in it…. This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it. This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made!” 
Then I was reminded that I had a choice! DUH!
Wait Depressed people – don’t stop reading, I know these comments tick you off!
I’m not saying I can choose to be depressed or not… Sometimes your body and mind are just depleted and sometimes (which I am sure it is for me in this case) we are lacking sunlight, vitamin D or we are just fighting something physical, emotional and/or spiritual!
However, just like I have a choice in how I respond to the rude cashier, or the moody teen, I have a choice in how I respond to my depressing wake up call.
It’s the afternoon now, and I’m still depressed. I can’t explain why I feel this way today, but I just do. (okay flu, period, high levels of stresss maaaayyyy be a trigger)
Today I chose to ignore any thoughts attached to my feelings, and I acknowledged my depression, and continued on. I sang that song over and over again until I was able to thank God for the day ahead. I stopped drinking coffee, (because it was triggering anxiety) and I listened to some awesome songs and car danced!  I’m probably not going to rid myself of depression today, but I am going to be in control of it and eventually it will get the hint and leave.
You see depression often makes us think that it’s in charge, like it’s driving your car and you are the passenger.  The truth is, I can welcome depression and let it linger, and nag at me ALL DAY or I can remember that I’m in charge, and take my day back, by grabbing the wheel.
We may live with depression, but we are not victims of it. The moment we believe that, depression wins, and it leads us to places we don’t want to go.
We may live with depression, but we are not victims of it. The moment you believe that,… Click To Tweet

So I hope and pray that tomorrow  I wake up feeling like a sexy Mulan, ready to take on the day and look good doing it! But if I don’t, it’s okay too, because I know I’m in charge!

One thought on “Today I woke up feeling depressed”

  1. Faith Hazell says:

    What a great way to look at a depressing day! Great post Sarah!!

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