I love Boobs – just not on Facebook

 

Deep breath….

Here it goes….

Why are there so many boobs on Facebook?!

There I said it.

 I have breast-fed 5 children. I love breast feeding. I am a definite advocate, and if I encounter a new mom or a to-be mom, I will (without permission) let them know I think that they should breast feed and I try to encourage it as much as possible. I have probably offended a few non breast feeders, due to my passion on the subject.

I love the bond of breast-feeding, in-fact I miss it, a lot! The health factor and the convenience of it, is like no other. I breast-fed in the open at home, though I covered when my older son or extended family came by. I would nurse either uncovered or covered with other nursing moms around , but  always with an attempt to be discreet.

I think moms who nurse should be allowed to nurse their baby wherever or whenever. I think a mom SHOULD NEVER have to nurse in a bathroom or be hidden in a bedroom somewhere. I think people who are uncomfortable with it need to get over it. I say, baby’s gotta eat, let them!

I once breast-fed my baby under cap and gown at my university convocation. People stared at me awkwardly as they saw something squirming under my large gown. My diploma was just as important as feeding my 3 week old baby.

I love BOOBS, I love that MILK comes out of them. I love that babies love it too. I love that hubbies like them a lot.
They are pleasure machines!
Oh what power the boob holds.  I thank God that he made us that way and I say be free moms, be free… BUT use your power wisely.

“with great power comes great responsibility”- Spider man?

 

Okay  here is when my milk begins to curdle.

 

Why, oh why dear moms do you need to post your milk jugs online?

I’m not talking about nursing photos but full on boob out photos. 

Just because there is a baby in the picture does not mean there still isn’t a boob in the picture, and it’s your boob and it’s out there for everyone, including my 12-year-old son, my husband and  my  grandfather to see. It’s awkward and I don’t think that a national campaign of women showing their breasts is going to help gain awareness, it’s just making you make us feel more awkward.

 

Let’s use my husband as a general representation of the upstanding, all around good guy response to boobs. 

Do you think breast feeding is a beautiful thing?

Yes, I think it is beautiful and loved you feeding our babies.

Do you think it is a sexual act?

No, it’s a natural act.

If there is a bare boob in a picture with no baby in it, do you look at it as a boob or  a feeding device?

A Boob

If there is a baby AND a boob in the picture do you look at it as a feeding apprentice or a boob?

Both

Do you like boobs?

(boyish grin)

 

Again, I am not speaking against breastfeeding (to those who are already skipping to the comment section) and I AM NOT sexualizing it either! I am talking about posting photos of it online.

When I was a first time mom, I showed up to my last internal exam right before I went into labour. As soon as I was done my exam, my doctor put his hand on my shoulder and kindly said to me “Don’t worry, you will get your modesty back eventually” He was right, it slowly but eventually came back.

Before pregnancy PAP tests and breast exams were torturous. Then 4 hours into labour you’re begging the doctor for an internal exam every 10 minutes and he keeps turning you down.  You grunt and groan and  you couldn’t care less who sees you nude. Get this baby out!  Post delivery you don’t care much more for modesty. It’s other people who have to remind you.  If your pastor walks in to congratulate you and you’re hanging all out, a few subtle coughs later,  you realize your boob is hanging out. You tuck it back in, stare at their redden face and you’re not the least bit embarrassed. How does this happen when a year ago you wouldn’t be caught dead in a 2 piece at a church camp?

You have what I call the modesty meltdown.

It happens to us all. It’s supposed to I think, it’s the first wave of motherhood that puts your baby’s needs before your own. Sexuality is far from your mind, you’re mad at it, it’s what caused that hard labour. This separation between modesty, and should I say sexuality,  creeps into our marriage a bit too. We are thankful for the 6 week order to abstain, because the thought of being sexual after having a baby is so far from our minds. Though it’s not from our hubby’s. 

Be honest, after having a baby  how many of you have slapped hubby’s hands and said “these are for baby now, not you?” anyone? anyone?

So here we are, we’re over the trauma and craziness of birth and newborn, we have entered into the rhythm of motherhood, we are busy and we are demanded of 24/7. We live in a baby bubble and our bodies still do too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s something to be aware of. 

Men still look at nudity through the goggles of sexuality. Even moms, who have nursed their children, but are out of that modesty meltdown, find exposed boobs awkward.  Yes,we see your baby in that picture and she’s super cute, but I also see your boob and it’s on my page feed and it bothers me. Not because I hate breast feeding. But because your boob is on my wall.

 In closing: Treasure those moments with your baby who is dependent on you for nourishment and bonding, it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Just don’t use those photos to push a cause or take a stand against anti breastfeeding, it’s actually working against it.  Hold sacred your nudity for your husband and child.  Teach my teenage daughter who gets sent back to her room for a revealing outfit, that it’s never ok to post nude photos online. Even for art’s sake or nourishment sake. Respect your friends and your grandpa’s Facebook wall.

Feed that baby, and use your boobs for good! 

 

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5 thoughts on “I love Boobs – just not on Facebook”

  1. Amy P says:

    I’m right there with you! And I understand if you’re in public and your kid won’t stand for the blanket-over-its-head thing and you still gotta feed them. So what you gotta do. But maybe find a somewhat more private corner and be on the discreet side? If you’re trying, I’m understanding. If your baby pulled off the boob two minutes ago at Starbucks and you’re still sitting there with it hanging out, I’m going to feel more than a little awkward. There are ways to arrange our clothes and our positions to avoid assaulting everyone with our awesome superpowers.

    1. virtuouswomanx says:

      hi Amy P! Thanks for the comment. I just think our world has lost the art of etiquette these days in many situations from breast feeding to social media, we as a culture have kind of hit a “I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I’ll do what I want” attitude. We need to respect one another.

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