I love to crochet. I’m not very good at it, it takes me about 2.5 years to complete a project (if I complete it at all and don’t start over) but I love how you can take strands of colourful wool and weave it into a blanket or scarf.
I took up crocheting to help with my anxiety. The hand eye coordination and concentration helped keep my mind off of my racing heart and panicked mind, and the hurtful comments of well meaning people telling me that the only way to stop feeling this way was to just stop thinking about it. “put the crochet hook down Sarah, sloooowly”
The question, ‘is anxiety and depression a choice’ is often a very sensitive subject passionately argued on both sides. I still cringe when I hear a preacher say that we have to “choose to get over it!” but I also cringe when I hear someone fall victim to their minds and say ‘it’s who I am, I can’t help it.’
My thoughts are that it’s complicated.
My other thought is that it’s a lot like crocheting.
I believe that we begin our lives as strands of wool and through life circumstances, our DNA, our physical makeup and spiritual health we are often left with a blanket of anxiety and depression that we did not choose to create.
I believe that it is very abusive to say to a person who has suffered severe trauma, abuse as a child or a head injury that they have a choice, when from a young age their minds have been trained and developed into a default of anxiety and depression. If you were to take a child’s arm and continually assault it or bind it it would cause permanent muscle damage and bone growth. The brain is no different. It is an organ of our body made up of millions of wires that connect thought with emotions, personality, etc. When a child grows in trauma or abuse of any kind they become wired that way and the pattern and stitches of their mind become pre determined.
When my son suffered a severe concussion last year he went from life of the party, gentle in spirit and joyful to a high dose of anti-depressants and a very urgent call to the psychologist. Many who suffer from brain injuries and head traumas can suffer from anxiety and depression because of the injury to the brain. It would have been foolish and completely irresponsible of me as a mother to tell him to ‘just stop thinking that way’ and ignore the fact that his brain needed healing.
As much as I believe that we cannot control the circumstances, makeup and upbringing that has weaved anxiety and depression into our minds I absolutely believe that we have choice. We choose if we wrap ourselves in that crocheted blanket everyday. We choose if we will allow the painful process of the Holy Spirit untangling the wool to set us free. We decide if we will do whatever it takes to rewire our minds and allow God to renew our minds and heal our souls. We choose wether or not we choose anxiety and depression as our identity and we choose to let it fester and increase because of it’s familiarity and comfort. We choose wether or not depression or anxiety will destroy our lives or motivate us to freedom.
I feel in the depths of my spirit and through the power of my own testimony that anxiety & depression can be healed. I wouldn’t devote my life, time and resources to share a message of ‘sometimes God heals’ but it begins with you understanding that it’s not your fault and removing shame and guilt and it begins with you making a choice to pick up your blanket and follow Him.
Jesus, there are people reading this right now that have been begging for healing from anxiety and depression. I ask you to make yourself known to each and everyone in a powerful way and begin to show them the way out. God I ask that you would heal their trauma, heal their physical mind and heal their soul. In Jesus name, Amen.