It was like something out of a movie. We ran into town from our campsite to get some ice. My 12-year-old son, at the time, stayed behind. He was in a mean game of football in the campground field with his friends. We’d only be half an hour and he was a big boy. We loaded the other 4 kids in our suburban and we drove up the hill, out of the campground and into town.
On our way back, we hit the highway, when a strange wind came out of nowhere. Leaves were blowing across the highway, not unusual for the fall but quite unusual in the mountains at summer time.
We headed down the hill to the campground as the wind picked up when we noticed about 15 trucks and trailers lined up heading out of the campground. What was happening? Was this a mass exodus? Coincidence? 5 pm on a Saturday, half the campground decides to leave?
We turned the bend just half a mile now from the campground, the wind was really picking up now. We quickly slammed on our brakes. Trees were coming down all around us and a giant power pole had fallen and the live wire was strewn across the road. There was a lineup of cars in front of us before the wire and a lineup of trucks and trailers trying to quickly get out of the campground on the other side of it. It was hailing now.
We were stuck in our vehicle and all I could think of was that we had no idea what had happened in the campground to force half of the campers to flee in 30 minutes and our son was there, by himself.
We had a two-way radio in the truck, so I took over the driver’s seat and my husband grabbed a radio, jumped out of the truck, over the live wire and into the forest. I was instructed not to drive over the live wire.
When Mom Anxiety Kicks In
What if a tree fell on my son at the park? Or on our trailer? What if he’s hurt. Or scared? What if I drive over this live wire to get to him and it kills all of us? What if a tree falls on us while we wait? What if something happens to my husband as he runs through the forest to check on our boy? What if…..
It was lightning now.
We waited and soon my husband radioed to say that our son was hiding in the trailer, he was scared but okay.
I radioed back that two cars had just driven over the wire and they were fine, so I was going to too.
“Kids, trust mom” I said. “No wait,” trust God. So we said a prayer, drove over the live wire and headed into the campground.
There were fallen trees everywhere. Trailers crushed, trucks crushed and soon ambulances, fire trucks and foresters were driving across the wire too.
By only the grace of God. No one was killed. By the grace of God our son was okay.
This weekend, my eldest daughter graduates from HighSchool and I’m faced with so many mixed emotions, including fear. There is something about the idea of letting your children grow up and face their own storms, knowing that you have barriers now and you won’t be able to get to them as quickly is terrifying.
Being a mom is such a mix of running through the forest in a freak wind storm to standing back and trusting God. It’s such a test of us giving all the grace our child needs and deserves and then also knowing when tough love is the better option. It’s hard, moms, it’s really hard. It’s fever’s that are too high, to rashes we’ve never seen before, It’s calls from the principle, to back alley fights to always forgetting to look when they cross the street! It’s the bullies at school, the time you yelled too loud and hurt their feelings, the head lice, broken bones and the boyfriend you know does not have good intentions but you can’t prove it! It’s all of this and more… Being a mom is a mix of wow factor and fear factor.Being a mom is a mix of wow factor and fear factor. Click To Tweet
When you struggle with extreme anxiety as a mom, just dealing with the “average” pains of anxiety causes can be debilitating.
During the worst of my breakdown, my nerves couldn’t handle any stress and that’s a hard place to be when your child is made up of 50% cuteness and the other 50% chaos. It was so hard.
The trouble is as moms we are not only limited in time and resources to get a handle on our anxiety and the help we need, we feel selfish doing it.
I know so many moms who battle severe anxiety who don’t get help. It breaks my heart.
Being a fearless mom, isn’t about not feeling afraid for your child, a mom who doesn’t have a healthy dose of fear is often a neglectful mother. But when your anxiety is the parent and you are in the co-captain chair it’s not good.
I want you to give your family a very selfless gift this Mother’s Day and begin to focus on yourself and bringing your anxiety to a stable place – a settled place.