This is it! I’m about to launch one of the biggest projects I have created so far and this is the official BLOG post giving you an inside peek!
But first, let me share with you one of my most humiliating anxiety moments.
I had a long overdo appointment to the dentist and it was just me and my 2-year-old and my anxiety that day was about a 9.5 out of 10″! I packed my little guy up and drove to the dentist. When you struggle with severe anxiety like I did everything seems like an out of body experience. Can you relate? I was in a haze of anxiety, my thoughts were all over the place, my heart was racing and I didn’t know if I was going to pass out or have a full blown panic attack. For the first time on this journey, I had to mark down in the medical section under previous conditions “generalized anxiety and panic disorder”
They were going to call my name soon so I took a seat with my little guy in the packed waiting room. My anxiety began to escalate, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, racing heart, blurred vision, it was all hitting me. I was terrified of having an anxiety attack in the waiting room in front of 20 other people so I quietly took 1/2 of an Ativan to calm my nerves. My name was called and as I sat my little guy in the chair at my feet, I laid back in the chair as the dental hygienist asked me how I was. I told her I wasn’t well and I was close to a panic attack but it should be okay because I did take an Ativan. As the appointment came to an end, I seemed loopy. Not because of the tiny pill I had taken at 1/4 the recommended dose, but because of the anxiety. I couldn’t look her in the eye, I couldn’t focus on what she was saying, I was dizzy and had a hard time walking straight. She thought I was stoned.
She insisted I call for a drive home and I told her it wasn’t the Ativan it was the anxiety. She didn’t believe me and I will never forget the look of pity and judgement on her face. Against her insistence that I wait and let her get me some help home, I packed up my little boy and booked it to the minivan, where I cried, and cried and cried. “What’s wong mommy?” my little guy asked. “Nothing honey, mommy’s just not feeling well. ”
I went home, tucked my little guy in for a nap and I locked myself in my room and I cried and cried and cried. Who was I becoming?! The strange lady at the dentist, thinks I’m driving my kids around stoned? Was this when crazy became my label? Who was I? what was happening to my mind, my body and my ability to cope?! Why was this anxiety taking over and controlling my life!
Friends, it was such a low day.
I’m not an anxiety superstar, I’m not a therapist, or have a doctors degree.
I am you, healed. I am the girl who was ravished and I mean ravished by mental illness. I am the girl who wore the heck out my bible desperate for deliverance. Then I blogged about it, then I wrote an online series about it (quoted over a dozen times as one of the best online series on anxiety ever written), then I wrote a book (that has blown my mind how God is pushing it and it’s coming soon!) and then I received letter after letter after email from anxiety sufferers, begging me to help them, asking for advice. “This isn’t me!” many of them say! “I can’t take this anymore!”
All I could picture was them laying in their bed after the dentist like me, crying for some sense of hope and understanding into what was happening and how they could make it stop.
I surveyed 100 anxiety suffers to ask them what they wanted answers to, what were their biggest struggles, what well-intentioned but awful/hurtful advice have they been given by well-intentioned believers. In a sum this is what 99% of the answers were…
I want my life back, I want to know how to stop these intrusive thoughts from taking over my mind and thrusting me into panic. I want my body back to health, I want to be able to be around people and SHOW UP TO LIFE AGAIN. I’m tired of Christian pat responses to my suffering, I don’t want scriptures thrown at me anymore or being told I’m lacking faith , or worse being told to “just get over it” I want real answers, practical tools, spiritual understanding and I don’t want to be anxious ANYMORE!!
SO I CREATED A COURSE, that helps anxiety suffers get their life back by giving them practical, spiritual and mental applications they can use to take control over their mind again and break free from the cycle of panic. I offer deep, to the core scriptural truths that will make the Word of God sharp, sharp enough to break anxiety for good.
One former student wrote:
The best description I have for this course is “God breathed”. I don’t mean that in the sense that we should add this information to the biblical cannon, but I do believe that no mere human could gain such a deep understanding of anxiety on their own. I have suffered from anxiety ever since I can remember, with the last 4 years being quite intense. No medication, counselor, or trusted confidant has helped me as much as this course. The wisdom, information, and practical guidance are unparalleled to any Christian literature that I have read on this topic (other than the Bible, of course). For the first time in my life, I have hope that anxiety can be overcome and I truly understand the role that the Lord plays in this process. Sarah has done such a great work of capturing God’s love, compassion, and wisdom in this course and for that I will be forever grateful. – Meghan
WHAT’S IN THE COURSE?
Online Lessons: This is designed as a 12-week course with 12 lessons. 1 per week. They include video of me, powerpoint videos, workbooks, printables and more.
LIVE Connections: You will get to join me in some live events on our private Facebook group for a chance to ask one on one questions.
Community: Join a community of others with my private Facebook Group. It’s an amazing chance for support, to share good moments, bad moments and victories as we all journey together.
Prayer: I will be setting up a prayer team just for the students during the duration of the class who are committing to pray for you daily as you go through the course.
Listen, I don’t want to get all sales chick on you, it’s so not my style as a person or as a writer, but I want to be urgent with you that THIS is the YEAR that God is promising BREAKTHROUGH if we’ll just seek Him. I believe that when we take the steps we need to God will meet us there.
If this is you and you’re ready, sign up for more information and notice on The Fearless Travelers Course I don’t want you to miss out.
I am not a psychologist, doctor, therapist and this course is NOT intended to replace your medication, therapy or pastoral care.
2 thoughts on “The Day Anxiety Humiliated Me”
Sarah, I love your blog (I’m friends with your Sis in law from back in the day 🙂 ) I am a fellow anxiety sufferer and just have to mention a book that may help you help others in the future, written by a doc, so he suggests some holistic ways of treating anxiety that have been wonderful for me- “This is your brain on joy” by Dr. Earl Henslin. Anyway, thought it might give you some more tools in your belt for the obvious calling you have ministering to others with mental health struggles. Blessings~
Sarah E Ball says:
Thanks for letting me know! Sounds fantastic!