I had just finished talking with a literary agent at the writer’s conference I attended last week, when I met up with my Alberta friend over the buffet.
“Aren’t you excited?” she asked me.
“I actually feel really insecure right now” I truthfully responded.
My friend looked up to me in awe, “YOU, get insecure?!”
“All the time” I told her.
” I am so relieved to hear that!” she said as she hugged me, her dinner plate dangerously hovering over my shoulder.
She thought she was the only one…
Oh, insecurity, the curse of the common man. That gnawing voice that tells you to shrink back and stay hidden, the voice that tells you to not take chances, or put yourself on display. The voice that tells you that there’s someone out there way more equipped- that you’re not good enough, and soon they will all find out that you are a big loser, a false version of who you see yourself as. Insecurity, the voice that instantly rebukes you for having thought you could reach the stars, the voice behind procrastination, the voice that reminds you of your carnal worth.
Oh, insecurity, fear’s BFF, thank you.
Thank you for reminding me that it is not all about me. Thank you for always nudging me to remember where my worth comes from…
three ways to win the insecurity battle
We all battle insecurity, and the insecurity fight can look different for all of us. Some display their insecurity in pride and boasting, others in perfectionism, others in procrastination ( my bent), others in a need to control. In whatever way we manifest feeling undeserving and second best, the truth is, insecurity is the curse of the common man, but it doesn’t have to be. Just like fear, the voice of insecurity won’t ever stop trying to hinder us, but we can have control over whether or not we take insecurity’s advice.
Learn to recognize how insecurity shows up in your life
For me, insecurity does not show up at social parties, or around prettier ladies, insecurity shows up when I have been presented with an opportunity. I have seen insecurity in other people flare up when they become too close to another person, or when they have to deal with a confrontation. It’s often hidden and buried underneath other emotions. It’s important to recognize where and how insecurity affects you, because learning to recognize its voice, helps you to put it in its place and not take it too seriously. Where does yours hit?
Know that insecurity is rooted in fear
Insecurity is rooted in fear. Fear of failure, fear of exposure, fear of rejection. If you were to stop and remember the last time you felt really insecure, ask yourself what were you afraid of. For me, it’s both fear of rejection and fear of failure. Just like with fear, we take our insecure thoughts captive and remind ourselves that God is for us, and not against us, and the rejection we may face is not from him, nor a reflection of our worth.
Know your purpose
Having a clear vision for what you are called to do, is your greatest defense against insecurity. For me, when opportunity comes I can rest in knowing God wants this even more than I do. If I have my sights on the plan God has laid out for me, I am not discouraged or plagued with insecurity when I hit a closed-door. I can continue to move forward knowing that there is a better door ahead.
Let’s begin to recognize the voice of fear, shame, insecurity, all those voices that oppose the truth that God loves us and he is for us and not against us – that’s the secret to freedom!