Sitting in a room full of young women, and telling them all my secrets, is not the funnest place to be, but it’s very much the exact place I was meant to be last Sunday night. I shared “my story” to our young adults, I was terrified, to say the least. Not because I am ashamed of
my story, but afraid that sharing it would not be worth it.
often always get that insecure feeling, after I share a personal story or reflection on my blog, or in a column, or speaking. Not to mention crying on one of my YouTube Videos! Oy Vey!
As most writers do, I send my stories off with confidence and within 5 minutes I’m in a mental fetal position, wondering if it was worth spilling my soul. Will people think I am dumb, or too intense all the time? Will nobody care? Will they take one look at the blood on the page and go “meh?”
I get it, writers and artists have a reputation of being weird, because they tend to live raw lives. They wear their emotions on their sleeve, or have an intense appreciation or dislike for things. It’s kind of true. We are weird and wired that way.
Artists and writers aside, most of us tend to live behind closed curtains, we don’t want anyone to see our weaknesses, or to know our heart at all. We want to ‘save face’ and create an illusion that all is good. Why, that’s the job of a human, especially in North America, to find out what mask you should wear and learn to wear it well.
It would be great if I could create an entire blog on my perfect life, and use my power to manipulate my truth. It’s safer that way. Because if I am rejected, it’s my illusion that is rejected, not ME.
However, those who learn to walk vulnerable, open and real are the ones who really know who they are and make an honest impact in people’s lives, not a fake impact.
I am not talking about emotional basket cases, we need to be in charge of our emotions. But we don’t need to be afraid of them.
A lot of people ask me, why I share so openly on my blog . I think those that ask are uncomfortable by my openness, and afraid that I will be OPEN about them someday! Ha Ha. (I do have a PJ t-shirt that says, “Be nice to me, or you’ll end up on my blog”)
I am open with my life, because I believe it’s not mine to keep. My life doesn’t belong to me and I have a responsibility to make a difference in the lives of those around me, as do we all! I can’t do that with a mask, I never have been able to. I wear masks awkwardly, unconvincingly and I hate breathing in the stale air they trap in.
Ironic that I have a degree in the Fine Arts as a performance major. God has a sense of humor.
Imagine the impact on those around us if we learnt to live authentically and openly with one another. This is a challenge to us all, how open are you with your life and your struggles? Do you share with younger men or women what you have learnt from your mistakes, and what you wish you had done differently? Do you confess to the overwhelmed mom, that you too struggle with depression or anger? Do you tell your children that you get their struggles? Do you share your heart with your friends?
Maybe it’s time to let go, and be real and begin to share your story and your heart. It will make an impact.