My confession is that I don’t handle waiting for things very well. I don’t handle waiting for situations to get better. I don’t handle waiting to get what I really want very well and I totally cannot wait for others to get on board with my ideas and plans very well. I am an impatient work in progress!
With that inner angst I am constantly battling the emotion of restraint and feeling ‘held back’. Kind of like when you’re young and you tell your brother you need to “HURRY!” or you’re going to be late so he purposefully goes into turtle mode to purposefully torture you.
Sometimes, I feel God does that to me. Even though I know He doesn’t go out of His way to torment me like my brother would have but it feels like it sometimes!
Patience is not a human strength. Waiting on God to move is not a natural response to something lacking in our life. I realize that it takes supernatural strength to wait on God. Not because he wants to torture us with impatience until we submit but rather to make us aware of how active he is in the process.
We are black and white. We are by nature – if I don’t have ____ then I need ____ NOW!
We are wired to want what we want when we want it!
So we get ourselves all worked up in a discontented tantrum…
And God simply works quietly behind the scene tying up lose ends, fixing our human errors, adjusting our mindsets, creating courage within us for the blessing He is preparing.
God is about birthing things not magically making them appear!
When I look back over the seasons in my life where I was in deep discontentment I recognize two restraints.
Self imposed restraints & God imposed restraints – Self imposed restraints was when fear and anxiety dominated my actions. I was bound in fear, lack of confidence but somehow in those moments of self sabotage I was able to hear God cheering “Go for it!, keep going! Don’t give up! Move forward! Run!”
Then the holy restraint of God, the one where we feel the most impatient and discontented but I look back and the whole time God is whispering “I’ve got this, watch what I’m doing, keep your eyes on me, rest a while, it’s going to be bigger than you think”
Wow, I look back and see how many times I have procrastinated and turtled during self restraint and how often I have had holy tantrums cause God wasn’t working fast enough in moments when he is painting the final details on a master piece.
I’m taking a Deep breath today and focusing on the process. If it’s fear I must run! If it’s God I must make eye contact with him.
I encourage you to do the same today. Thank God for the process and connect with Him, work with Him.
Feeling Impatient in your journey out of anxiety? Come over and visit me here and let’s chat.
Have a fearless day!
Sarah B
