I’m pretty sure I was the only ballroom debutant in a gorgeous white ball gown sitting at the formal place setting with a napkin tucked into my lace collar. If anyone in the German Canadian Club’s Annual Ball was going to get a Hollandaise sauce stain on their bust it would be me.
I’m also the girl on the dance floor, on my latest trip to Mexico, who when the music plays “how low can you go…” I can glide down like a dancing champ but need the assistance of a wall or my husband to get myself back up. Weak thigh muscles.
I’m girl who can dress like a professional diva extraordinaire at work only to find out I wore two different earrings, my blouse was inside out the entire day and there was a Hollandaise sauce stain on my right pant leg.
I’m the girl that no matter how much I prepare and practice I still manage to accidentally swear in a eulogy.
I’m the gal who on her very first trip to Hollywood wore my highest sassiest heels to walk the boulevard. My glamour shoes have now been called My Squat Walkers, because the heels were so high I had to squat walk just to keep my balance and then eventually I gave up and walked barefoot. But the shoes were sooo cute!
No matter how hard I try to outrun my imperfection it always finds me and throws out a good ol’ slippery banana peel.
These are only superficial imperfections, I have imperfections that run so much deeper than this. I have learnt to laugh off all the external and behavioural flaws realizing there’s not much hope for me now, like how I cannot for the LIFE OF ME say: worcester or lozenge. But it’s the deeper imperfections I often hold too seriously, feel shamed over or try to out run.
We can often get so caught up in our stains and brokenness that we live our entire lives trying to win a battle we’re not meant to win.
How often in your life have you received great opportunity or reward only to have it highlight your weaknesses? This is the moment shame comes in and tells you, you are not worthy. Just when we have reached a moment of success that highlights to others our perfection we can get hit with with the opposite view of ourselves.
We strive for perfection in so many areas of our life, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially even spiritually but you and I know that perfection is all perspective, a perspective we can so easily be persuaded by. We strive for perfection, at our expense and others. It robs our joy and kills our relationships. We strive to be perfect like THEM, yet those we see as ‘perfect’ we secretly relish in their failures, not because we are cruel and want to see others fall but because their face plants make our flaws less painful.
We can sometimes live in constant awareness of our gleaming imperfections.
As my life slowly begins to shift into new waters, new opportunities and position my imperfections have never been so noisy, so disruptive, so attention seeking.
LOOK AT THIS…
WHAT ABOUT THIS?
THERE’S NO WAY, NOT WITH THIS…
“Oh God, fix me, make me perfect, instil in me a new heart, make me perfect, help me run away from this reality, help me be like THEM, him and her and THAT person!”
Sarah, your imperfection will lead you to people and places perfection is not allowed.
When you try to outrun your imperfections and you find yourself sitting – stalled, messy and feeling inadequate, look up and see Jesus asking you to go to people and places where perfection has been forbidden.
Run with your imperfections!