My Heart in 2016

Getting back to writing and blogging is taking as much effort as getting back to exercising and not eating chocolate every 15 minutes. Good thing I have had a few people cross my path lately that are nagging me to get back on the writing wagon and stop eating so much.  So here I am, hungry and blogging! Ya happy?!

I really wanted to write something really uplifting and motivating to ring in the New Year, but it would not be an honest post, because the truth is, I spent the first 3 hours of New Years Day bawling my eyes out. Like hysterical ugly cry, snot fest.

It felt soooo good!me and Shepard sledding

There is nothing like a good cry to help unclog the drain, so life can flow more freely again. I’m also upping my dose of vitamin D!

This past year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride for me. Some extreme breakthrough and wow moments, and some of the hardest trials I have ever walked through. I’m not so confident that I came out of 2015 a better person. However, despite where I think I am physically, emotionally and spiritually at the end of this year, I can’t help but feel that God has led me right where He wants me and there is a greater purpose in my weaknesses.

Usually my prayer for a new year is full of gusto and belief, praying for blessing and double portion and breakthrough! Some of  my best and often only journal entries are January 1st. This year my pouting prayer for 2016 was “God, can I please have a traumatic free year” and then my journal entry resorted to the lament of a recently dumped 13 year old junior-high student. (without the margin heart break doodles of course)

But heres the thing,  Romans 5;3-5Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. I know that though I see myself in the natural coming out of 2015 weaker, I know that another level of maturing in Christ has taken place. I don’t fully understand it, but some how I’m sharpened, some how I’m stronger, somehow I’m closer to Glory. I don’t see it quite yet, but I will.

You see Christian  maturity has nothing to do with gaining knowledge and mastering  bible trivia,  it’s about learning to suffer well. When we go through various trials, we learn alot about our true nature’s – the good…. the bad. We become humble because we realize we have no control over our lives no matter how awesome or right we think we are. Through trials we also learn to love others better, because we understand their pain better. Honest, Humble and Loving…. Hmmm sounds like Jesus!

A mature believer doesn’t throw scriptures and religious do’s and don’ts at you when you are weathering a storm. They don’t because they have gone through winter seasons of the soul themselves, and they understand that it is pointless to tell the person who is in the middle of a blizzard to look for the sunshine. A mature believer hands them a scarf, and holds them while they shiver and waits for the storm to pass. That’s what my loving hubby did for me New Years Day as a big old ugly tear rolled down my cheek onto his plaid shoulder, he tried to comfort me with promises of great days ahead, and he’s got me spiritually till I feel better, and that God is good, and there is still more chocolate and he likes my ‘curves’. I was able to take a deep breath and move forward, and the next day we had an amazing family day sledding in the mountains, I couldn’t zip up my snow pants, but the extra weight made for a more thrilling ride down the hill! Hubby did take care of me that day, God was good and I DID eat more chocolate!

Isn’t that how life goes? One minute you’re trying to talk, blow your nose, AND cry at the same time, and the next you’re zipping down a hill full speed “weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” I don’t think I would have it any other way.

Here’s to another year where we let go of the past, and grab a hold of the hope that God has blessings that he can’t wait to give his kids! I’m in, are you?

Bio Photo winter 2015

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