3 1/2 years ago, I received a judgmental comment on my blog – I will never forget. Not because I was hurt by it, but because of the readers who came to my defence. The premise was this: a few blogs before this comment I blogged on leaving 4/5 kids behind (taking the nursing baby) to Mexico on a vacation. A few blogs later I wrote on how society doesn’t value children.
I received a comment (paraphrased) that my husband and I were selfish and abandoning our kids by going to Mexico and leaving our children behind with Grandma.
So that leads me to my favourite defensive comment from my friend …
“Dear Anonymous.. I’d like to see you wrangle 5 kids in Mexico.”
We haven’t taken a vacation like this since, until now… and guess what, people?!
In just a few weeks we WILL be wrangling 5 kids in MEXICO!!!!! Lord help us all!!!
I am very excited for this trip. The entire Ball family will be doing as the Mexicans do, and it will be an adventure for all 18 of us! Lord help us all!!!
So…. that leads me to the Muffin Top…
We all know the drill when a vacation is booked: hair, nails, new clothes, pedicures, celery and crunches! AM I RIGHT?!
Well I jumped on that band wagon with full force, until…
I came to a few hard realities. (emotional breakdowns over stupid things)
#1 The closer I get to 40, the more invincible the muffin top becomes.
#2 The closer I get to 40 the more insecure I feel about my muffin top, and when I say insecure, I mean debilitatingly insecure.
#3 Striving, period, for anything, including a hot body, is really really REALLY mentally unhealthy for ME.
So, after a very stern talking to (to myself), and very strong conviction from God (who desires me whole) I decided to become one with the muffin, sprinkle some sugar on it, and redirect my preparations to something of way more lasting in value.
This trip isn’t about who looks better in a bikini, or turns heads when they walk by the pool. It’s about the people we will be margariting with, and the little hands I will be holding as they see the ocean for the first time, and the sunset kisses I will be giving to the man my soul needs.
I want to be prepared in mind and spirit to go. I want to go already connected with my husband, so we have been working to reconnect before we go.
I want my children to be getting along, so we are working with them to speak kinder to one another.
I want to enjoy time with the extended family and in-laws with no judgments and expectations, so I am working on my heart and attitude.
So when you see me on the beach with my muffin top, and my badly self coloured hair, know that my heart is full, and my mind is at peace!
Sometimes we need these reality checks, so that we are not exerting our efforts on things that have no eternal value. I am learning that the way to handle insecurity is to accept the insecurity and replace our value in it.
It’s not easy being a “real” woman in a bikini world, but God calls us to be a “real” woman in a broken world.