Thank you all for coming through a heavy blog week with me. It got a bit serious over here this past week, talking about the twisted view of sex in our culture, not an easy topic to tackle.
When I get hit with something that I am passionate about, it takes more than a hook to pull me off the stage and a lot of therapy to keep me from toppling over in fear. I am not sure why God gave me such an intense heart sometimes, but I am learning to let go a little more each day.
It took a lot of courage to blog this week, sharing personal accounts and heavy material. There is no way I could have blogged on that a few years ago. NO WAY!
My natural inclination is to be TOTALLY insecure and shrink back.
I am not the only human in the world who feels completely insecure, I know that. When we step out boldly into areas we feel called to, we often get tied down with fear and doubt.
We are almost programmed to stay within our safety boxes, never putting ourselves ‘out there’, never risking ourselves too much.As long as satan can keep us there, the world doesn’t change, our circumstances won’t change and we won’t fully mature.
Most of this annoying, sometimes crippling insecurity stems from the voices in our head. The voices that tells us we are doomed to fail, or watch yourself, or don’t be foolish, or you’re being too intense, or stop dreaming.
I call this my editor
As a writer, I deal with an invisible editor, who stands over my shoulder every time I sit down to write. My editor, changes every day. Some days it’s my mother, some days it’s my friend, or other days it’s a stranger who represents a group of people. They stand over my shoulder saying “should you put that?” “Hey! I might be offended by that!” or “Aren’t you sharing too much? You’re making me feel awkward ” or “When are you going to get a real job?” or “Are you going to be able to look at me in the eye after you know I know that about you?”
My editors, hold me back, keep me from pushing forward, they edit each line, each intention, and motive for writing.
I hope you know at this point I am talking figuratively and you are not trying to gather friends and family for a mental health intervention. (though if you do, please find me a place that is quiet, tropical, and the staff bring me drinks.)
I am speaking of the people in our lives that have conditioned our actions.
I have learnt, if you want to be a good writer, you can’t be a good people pleaser. It’s pretty much impossible.
I realize I have a moral obligation not to bash people and vent my frustrations in detail, or embarrass anyone. Nor, do I think my platform should be used to win an argument or be passive aggressive in any way. However, the people around me are my stories, and my insights and my characters. So it is almost impossible not to offend anyone along the way, even though I try very very hard not to.
This is no different in my everyday life – from interactions with teachers, friends, family and strangers. The older you get the thinner the filter, but there is still this nagging ‘editor’ who tries to correct my every move.
How much do we do that in our lives, (blogging aside) How much do we ‘edit’ what we say, or what we do, based on what others think and our fear of man?
Who stands over your shoulder and edits your day-to-day life?
We must learn to silence the editors. We cannot erase them all together. We need editors in our life to help us make smart decisions, empathetic choices, and keep us from becoming selfish and heartless.
We don’t want to go through life like a ruthless bulldozer. I hate people like that. They have no concern for others, they are blunt and rude, they demand satisfaction, and walk around entitled. (even though, these types make more money than most of us. DUMB)
It’s about being free to be who we are without adjusting to the insecurities and demands of our life editor.
Our editors should give suggestion on where our life story should go, but they should not write it for us.
Infact, according to God, our life stories is not ours to edit at all! It’s His – “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:2
So don’t give His role away to anyone else.